Then – I was writing. A lot. I finished another Romantic Comedy, tentatively called A Slight Change of Plan. It’s the story of Kate, a 55 year-old-widow who decides it’s time to shake up her life and move on to the ‘Second Act.’ Since her kids have all moved out and her youngest is graduating college and says he’ll have no problem getting a job, she sells her vast family home and moves into a condo. She also trades in her high-pressure job for a much more relaxing one and joins an on-line dating service. Of course, things start to go wrong. Almost immediately.

Her youngest son decides to go after his PhD, so he moves back in with her – along with his girlfriend. Her cushy job falls through, so she’s unemployed. Her college crush – the one true love of her life – happens to be on the same dating site she is. And her mother, whom she hasn’t spoken to in eight years, can no longer live alone and moves into her basement.

Hilarity, as they say, ensues.

This is being published by Amazon/Montlake. No, I haven’t gone over to the dark side and forsaken Indie publishing. They just made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. Good news – they’ll do all the editing, as well as put together a cover, two things that really made me crazy when I had to do it for myself. Bad news – it’s going to take a bit longer to release. They’’re saying October, but I’ll let you know.

But – I also finished the YA I’d been playing with since last year. It’s great. I love it. It’s going to be self-pubbed, and I’m launching June 1st. It’s under a pen name – I didn’t want anyone who’d read my other books to see my name on the cover and freak out when they start reading – teen-aged girls? Soccer? Gargoyles? WHAT IS THIS?

So, I’m publishing under the name Marijon Braden. What kind of name is Marijon? There was a character similarly named in a Victoria Holt novel I read many years ago – at least I think it was Victoria Holt – and I never forgot how cool it sounded.

They’ll be a new website, new FB page – the cover is gorgeous and I’m having a blast. The title is Smoke, Wings and Stone. If you subscribe to my newsletter, I promise I”m going to actually learn how to write a newsletter and let you know when it’s coming out, so if you like that sort of fantasy/adventure, you can pick it up.

Hmmm…oh yeah. My daughter is driving with a learners permit.

Which is the other reason I haven’t had time to blog. I’ve been spending a lot of my spare time in prayer.

Haha – no, not really.

Well, maybe.

The film and TV rights to my novel BETTER OFF WITHOUT HIM have just been optioned to Robert Shaye and Michael Lynn’s production company, Unique Features. The negotiations for the rights were handled by Mary Alice Kier and Anna Cottle of Cine/Lit Representation on behalf of literary agent Lynn Seligman.

Now, if those names sound familiar – Bob Shaye and Michael Lynn – it’s because they were the guys at New Line about the time the Lord of the Rings movies came out. When New Line folded, they went off on their own. So we’re talking about some real heavy hitters here. This is a serious company, and I almost deleted the original email because I thought it was some sort of joke.

I got all sorts of emails in September, when Better Off Without Him was on the 100 Bestsellers List on Amazon. There was one from a very nice man in a Eastern European country who was interested in publishing my book in his native language, and could I just send him a copy of the manuscript so he could get started right away?

Ah, no.

I got a few notes from agents asking if I was represented. Haha – yes, I was, but thanks for asking.

Then I got something from a guy who wanted to know if the TV and film rights were available. Who was pulling my leg this time? I quickly Googled the company he said he was from, and found that they didn’t have their own website. Who doesn’t have their own website? I mean, if somebody like me had one, you’d think a hot-shot Hollywood company would have one, right? But I passed it along to my agent, saying ‘If this is real, would you handle it for me?’

Luckily, my agent is a lot smarter than I am, and found out that yes, you could be a hot-shot Hollywood company and not have your own website. Some phone calls were exchanged, she got her ‘West Coast’ person involved, and before I knew it, I was making a deal. Well, not me, exactly. In fact, I wasn’t involved at all, nor will I be going forward. My agent asked me if I minded turning over my book and my characters to a group of people who would then be able to do whatever they wanted to them. I would have no input, and if they wanted to change names, places, ages – whatever – I’d have to let them.

Well, I have to say that gave me pause for a second. But, really – what do I know about what makes a good movie or television series? Nothing. I know what I like, but so what? Most of my favorite TV series lasted barely a season – Firefly, anyone? – and as for movies, I’ll watch anything with James Stewart or Cary Grant in it. So there.

So I trusted my agent to make the best deal possible, and I’m sure she did. The coolest part of the contract? Where I get to go to the premiere. Would I have loved being involved in the screenwriting? Casting? Anything?? Sure. But that sort of thing only happens in books. Or if you’re EL James.

So – this is what has to happen. The people who have the option have to find someone else willing to take on the project. For TV, somebody has to make the pilot. Then, somebody else has to buy the pilot. Then the pilot has to be successful and actually aired. Then it has to be good enough to attract an audience and make some money. That’s a lot of ‘thens’.

For a movie? Well, there’s a reason why somebody coined the phrase “Development Hell’. Movies can – seriously – take years from first meeting to screen.

So I’m waiting. Any week now, I could get the call- there’s a sale – some hot actor is interested – a great director is thinking about it – anything is possible. That’s the coolest part of this whole experience.

Right now, today, anything is possible.

The main problem was that I write in an office in my house. This is not an environment that creates much expense. But then it occurred to me that I could use a website. In fact, I needed a website. Not only would a website rocket me into the next level of Author-stardom, but I could give a bunch of money to someone other than the US government.

So, I called some very nice folks that I met at one of those conferences, and asked if they could build me a website for X amount of dollars. They said yes. Since all of us involved worked out of our homes, our first meeting took place in an I.H.O.P. We talked, shook hands, and a few weeks later I signed contracts and sent out checks, and now – I have people.

Yeah, you heard me. I have people. I have somebody doing all the technical work, like putting together all the bits and bytes needed to actually be online. And I have a team working on content. I know –A WHOLE TEAM! We had a few phone meetings and Eric – my ‘tech’ person, sent over a sample front page, and I was on my way.

After a few false starts, my page looks pretty good. It should be going live in the next few weeks. My picture is in the top corner. Although it’s the same picture I have on my Author page, and Facebook page, Twitter account, and blog page, I was thinking that for a real website that I actually paid money for I needed a better picture. So I’m going to have to get a photographer. Who is also a PhotoShop expert. In my initial meeting with ‘my people’, I mentioned wanting to look ten years younger, but that exact wording never made it into any of the contracts I signed, so I can’t call anyone up and say “Fix this.” I’m going to have to work this out on my own.

I’ve already got a whole bunch of stuff to put up there – samples from my two books, a few review quotes, and a sample from the audiobook. Then there are all those ‘Buy’ links. I’ll link to this blog. One of “my people” suggested a ‘martini of the week’ feature, which I would totally get into, but I wouldn’t want my readers to think I spend all my spare time swilling martinis, because that is SO not the case. Not during the week, anyway

I had a few great quotes that I wanted across the page, right under my name. One was a bit about writing by Carol Burnett. Then I changed my mind after finding this great quote from Andy Rooney about women over forty. But I found out that Andy was misquoting somebody else, and the original quote wasn’t nearly as good. So do I give Andy credit for something he really didn’t say? I’ll have to run that by my content team.

I love saying that. Content team. Kind of just rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it? I have great people.

But, to paraphrase Peter Parker ( aka Spiderman) with great people comes great responsibility. It’s not going to be enough just to have a website. I have to do things that were worthy of a website. Like write more books.

Writing is hard work. Yes, I know, there’s an image out there of The Writer waltzing into a sun-drenched office, usually overlooking the ocean, coffee mug in hand, wearing fuzzy slippers and jammie pants, sitting down at the computer and tossing off a few thousand, brilliant words.

Someday, I want to be that writer.

All I have to do is write more books. Did I mention it’s hard work?

It’s really hard when you have to fit it in between the paying job, the husband, daughter, dog, both cats, house, yard, friends, life…

I could get so much more writing done if I didn’t have all that other STUFF cluttering up my day.

I wonder – I could get my people on that?

First of all, if you’re not following me on Twitter – @DErnst1 – you’re missing some very funny and pithy Tweets. From my recent road trip to the shore – “Where r the great legs&tight butts?” – to my retweeting of some class acts, like Joshua Lyman Tweeting about tropical storm Debbie and Dallas. Yes, I too thought Joshua Lyman was a fictional character from a now-defunct television show, but, obviously, I was wrong. His Debbie Does Dallas thing got retweeted 5000 times. Pretty good for an imaginary guy. Better than my tweet-is envy quip.

Better Off Without Him is being made into an audiobook. Pretty exciting, right? Meryl Streep and Susan Sarandon were both involved in other projects, and did not return my calls, but I found a great voice-over artist named Gillian Vance to do the reading. She’s got a great quality to her voice. I was afraid she’d be too perky for Mona, but she’s found the perfect blend of warm and wry. That should be available sometime in August.

Better Off will be free again this month – 6/27 & 6/28 on Amazon. A Different Kind of Forever is going free in July 7/27 & 7/28. After that, I’m pulling them out of the exclusive Amazon program and putting them both back onto B&N and Kobo. I’m also trying to get them into iTunes, but Apple will only let you download from an Apple computer, so I’m going to have to borrow a MacBook from someone. Those Apple people are very strict about stuff, and as much as I want to be in the iBookstore, I’m not buying a new computer to do it.

Better Off is also available as a paperback at a lower price – $10.99 on Amazon. Sorry Lulu, but I wanted to give readers a break. So if you’ve been waiting to give it as a gift to your non-e-reader friends, now is the time.

I’m working on a new book. I put the YA project on hold. Trying to think like a teenager was giving me headaches. I’ll try to finish it off, but not anytime soon. My new project is way more fun. 55 year old widow decides to go ahead with the ‘next phase’ of her life. She quits her job as a lawyer to become a professor at a private college, sells her family home and moves into a chi-chi condo, and starts looking for romance – online. But, as with all the best laid plans…she doesn’t get the new job, her adult children start moving back in with her, and as for on-line dating – well, you know. I was thinking about ‘Ohbabybaby.com’ as a possible title. Or maybe “Caution – Mid-Life Ahead’. Still working on that.

I do know that this time around, since I’m actually making a little money here, I’m paying someone to design the cover and do all the formatting. As much as I’ll miss hours at the computer, squinting at the screen ‘till I want to poke my eye out with a fork and STILL not getting it right, I’d rather give the money to a professional than pay it to the government in taxes.

Which brings me to the really big news – I’m getting a real live web-site. I actually bought the domain name, DeeErnst.com. It will be an extension of this blog, but more. I’m not sure how much more, but I’m thinking of being able to buy the paperback copies of my books directly from the page, as well as links to all the retailers and maybe even a sign-up for a newsletter. I don’t have a newsletter, but I’d like to be able to reach out to readers who want to know when the next book is coming out. Maybe once the audiobook is done, you could click and hear a sample. And I could post sample chapters of the new book. And there’ll be pictures. I have a very long wish-list, and I’m sure the folks working on this are getting a big kick out of my ideas. In fact, it will probably play out as a whole chapter in THEIR book – Things Idiots Think You Can Do On A Laptop.

Finally, I’ve figured out a sequel to Better Off. It will be short – more like a novella, but I’m going to send Mona to Hollywood to take a meeting about her movie script. Should be fun. I’m thinking about offering it free to anyone who signs up on my new website!

I’ll keep you all posted.

Posted. Get it?

About a month ago, I decided to enroll my book, Better Off Without Him, in something called KDP Select. That’s a program at Amazon where you promise to sell your eBook exclusively through them, and they give you the opportunity to schedule ‘free days’ for your book.

Now why, you may ask, would you want to take a book that some people are willing to pay perfectly good money for, and offer it for free?

Well, the theory here is that if lots of people download it for free, and like it, they will tell all their friends, all the folks in their book clubs, the pool-cleaning guy – you know, everybody – and all those everybodys will go out and pay for it.

There’s also the theory that if you have other titles available, those people who loved the freebie will be willing to pay for other titles by their new-favorite writer.

So, I figured I’d give it a shot.

I pulled my book from Barnes & Noble. This hurt, because I work for B&N. But the truth is, I was selling very few books there, and even though I have been a sterling employee for over six years, when I asked Corporate if they would give my title any extra consideration on the B&N site – you know, me being a fellow drone and all – I got a resounding ‘NO’. So it didn’t hurt that much.

Then I pulled the title from Smashwords. Now, let me tell you, Smashwords is a pain in my butt. It was really hard for me to get my book formatted properly for them, and I hardly ever sold anything with them, but they were the first guys to publish my book, and I felt really guilty about this. But I was all in for Select.

I started reading everything there was to read about how to have a successful run on those mysterious and all-powerful ‘free days’. Let me tell you, the authors who post on Kindleboards are the nicest, most generous people in the world. I cut and pasted every piece of advice I could find until I had over six pages of sites, suggestions and lists. The only thing that was missing was – another title.

That’s when I pulled my first book out of cyber-storage, dusted it off, made a cover, and threw it out there. For those of you who liked A Different Kind of Forever, I might have never thought about publishing it had it not been for putting BOWH in Select.

So – I began sending emails to places like Pixel of Ink and ENT. I oiled up my Facebook and Twitter accounts. I contacted bloggers who had liked BOWH and let them know when it was going ‘free.’ I went through my Select Advice file like Sherman through Georgia until I had (hopefully) covered all of my bases. Then, at 5 am on Wednesday morning, I woke up and sent out my first Tweet. I spent over an hour posting and Tweeting my little tush off. I sacrificed my old paperback version of ‘Atlas Shrugged’ to the Select Gods and went to work.

I have access to the Internet at the store, of course, so I could sit and watch my little title working it’s way slowly through the Kindle Free Bestsellers list. When it got to 114, I was thrilled. I remember reading something about breaking into the top 100 being a really big deal. Then, it happened. Pixel of Ink featured my title in their afternoon feature. By the time I got home from work, I was #9.

As I mentioned to the folks on Kindleboards, writers should always marry writers. My husband could not understand what the big deal was. Free? That means no one paid for it? Why was that good? Will Amazon place you in a position of importance? Will I get lots of reviews? Sigh…at least some of my Facebook author friends were excited for me. Then I hit #4.

This is where panic set in. I was running the book free for two days. Here I was, at the end of day one, sitting at #4. The whole idea was to end on a high note and let all that momentum carry my title into sales and fame and fortune. I had another whole day – I could easily slide back into oblivion and all my hard work would be lost.

But – the next morning, got up early, Tweeted, posted, went to work, and promised myself I would NOT check the standings every five minutes. So I didn’t. I only checked every hour.

Everyone in the store was on Kindle Watch. They all heard the updates. When I went to #3, they all cheered for me. My fellow bloggers posted the whole Amazon page on Facebook, where my pink cover was shining out bravely. I kept checking to see if the local NBC affiliate had sent a news truck to the store, but, obviously, it was a heavy news day.

When I got home, I was #2. Pomegranate martini time. Even though it was Thursday.

This morning, my pink cover was gone from the Bestsellers page. The little hussy who was #1 yesterday is #1 again today, but that’s okay. My ranking is lower than it ever was, but I know it will creep back up. I’ve already gotten emails from readers saying how much they loved my book. And so far – 6 sales of A Different Kind of Forever.

Final free downloads – 33869.

Thank you, Amazon readers. This was the wildest ride of my life.

Speaking of which – Better Off will be free next week – April 25 & 26, as part of the Kindle Select program. So, if you’ve been waiting, remember the dates. Or, if you know anyone with a Kindle, you can send it as a free gift and score major brownie points!

A Different Kind of Forever has already gotten a few reviews, and they’re good – and they aren’t even from my friends and/or family members! I’m so happy. I was kind of nervous about this one. It’s in a different style, and the focus is more on the Romance and less on the Comedy, but I wanted it to have a certain sense of humor, and the readers have picked up on it. That’s good for the one reviewer of Better Off who was worried about the trade-off between funny and sexy. I tried to do both!

So, once the search for book bloggers and reviewers for the new book is over, and once my “Free Select’ days are done, and after I spend hours on-line dropping hints on various boards and blogs about how wonderful my book is, and after the title gets picked up by a few discussion groups, and gets mentioned on Facebook – then I can go back to writing again. Still need to finish the YA – I’m completely stalled on the third and final section. And then there’s The New Book – it keeps calling me. It’s about a 50ish widow who sells her family home, and tries to start her life over by on-line dating, only to have her adult children start moving back in with her. Wait…I hear it now…

Gotta go.

It’s not really a new book. I wrote it back in 2004, and this was the book that got me my wonderful agent, Lynn Seligman. Sadly, she couldn’t sell it. It’s interesting – some of the editors liked it, but didn’t think the older woman-younger man thing would take off. HA! Obviously, I was way ahead of my time. I figured that now folks might be ripe for a spicy, sexy story about a hot young rock star and the forty-something object of his affections. So, sometime after April 15th, A Different Kind of Forever will be launched out into the wild, wonderful world of e-books.

For those of you who liked Better Off Without Him, be warned – this one is less comedy and more romance. There’s no ‘fade to black’ when things heat up, if you know what I mean. There’s sex in this book, and let me tell you, writing sex is hard. Really hard. Remember the first time you HAD sex? You didn’t know what to say, where to put your hands, what clothes to take off first – should the lights be on? Music? Candles? Where to put all those wine bottles? How much noise is acceptable? Well, all those things are what I had to think about while I was writing, and it was exhausting. Especially when I’d let my good friend Jean read what I wrote and she’d give it back to me, shaking her head, saying ‘More! You need more!’

So I wrote more, and ended up with what I thought was a pretty good book. I’m having it proofread now, and sending it out to reviewers.

Here’s the blurb -
Michael Carlucci, the hot, young musical genius behind the successful rock band, NinetySeven, knows that he’s found the woman for him. Diane Matthews is not just beautiful and smart, she’s got an infectious passion for everything in her life, from her three daughters to her new play. For him, the search is over. He knows they belong together.
For Diane, it’s not as simple. She’s almost twenty years older than Michael. She’s not interested in remarrying – she’s very happy with her life just the way it is, thank you very much. But she can’t deny the growing attraction between them – and it’s not just his touch that she craves. But it’s not until Michael is gone and an old love returns that she realizes just what he meant to her. He said he would love her forever. Can she trust that? Or should she find a safer route to happiness?
A Different Kind of Forever is the story about two complicated people finding – and trying to hold on – to love.

Here’s an excerpt -
They went into the house together, Diane turning on lights as they walked through the empty living room. She could feel him behind her. He’s waiting, she thought. He’s waiting for me.
She turned suddenly. They were face to face, and she could feel the heat from his body, and his eyes were endless, impossibly blue, and he leaned forward very gently and kissed her. She was trembling, and he kissed her again. This time she kissed him back, softly at first, then with a growing hunger, and her arms went around him, his waist, under the thin fabric of his shirt and pulling him toward her. His body was lean and hard, and she opened her mouth, and she could feel the smoothness of his skin against her hands. As his arms went around her, she made a small noise, like a sob, and then his hands were in her hair, and his lips were brushing her neck, soft, down her throat, a trail of kisses that shook her entire body. She brought her hands up, between them, gripping his shoulders and pushing against him abruptly.
“Stop.”
He let her go, stepping back, arms dropping at his side. She pressed her hands against her forehead.
“I’m sorry,” his breathing was strained. “I thought – I’m sorry.”
“No. No, don’t be sorry.” He took a step toward her, hesitant, and she moved away. “I need to think. I can’t think if you touch me.”
He stepped back again, and she pointed. Her hand was shaking. “Sit. Please, sit down.”
He obediently sat down in a wing chair, leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees, hands clasped. He was watching her face.
“Okay.” She brushed back her hair with one hand and took a deep breath. “I’m forty-five years old.”
“I’m twenty-six.”
“Exactly. Doesn’t that bother you?”
He shook his head. “Not at all. I like being twenty-six.”
She laughed shakily. “Michael, be serious. Doesn’t it bother you that I’m nineteen years older than you?”
He shook his head again. “No. Would it bother you if I was nineteen years older?”
“Please, Michael,” she pleaded, “don’t try to confuse me with logic. It’s not fair.”
He laughed. “Okay. From now on, no more logic. I promise. ”
She took another breath. “I haven’t had sex in over six years. Not since before my divorce.”
“Whoa.” He sat back in the chair. “Six years? Shit, nothing like a little pressure.”
“Pressure?” She crossed her arms across her breast, hugging herself. “That’s how much you know. The way I feel right now, the only foreplay I need is for you to unbutton your shirt.”
His mouth twitched. “Oh.”

If any of you are interested, it will be available for 99 cents for the first two weeks of release. Come back and see me after April 15th, and I’ll let you know for sure.

And if any of you would like to review this for me, I’ll send you a free rough copy right away, and gift you thru Amazon when the finished book is released. Just send me an email.

Here’s what happened. I was working a night shift a few weeks ago (for those who don’t know, I work as a bookseller ant Barnes and Noble) and started having a conversation with a very nice lady who mentioned she was a writer of Historical Romance. I mentioned I was a writer too, and she started talking about how much she loved the whole process, particularly the Facebook-ing and Tweeting. She has over 1200 followers on Twitter, including other Romance authors, and then she was telling me about a virtual ball they had involving all of Jane Austen’s crowd, and it suddenly sounded like fun.

So I asked her about her book. Well, it hadn’t published , but she’d was thinking Random House or Penguin Putnam. Neither of those houses had actually accepted it, because it hadn’t been sent out yet. It seems that although she had several agents interested, she didn’t really have an agent. Or even a book. See, she hadn’t finished writing it yet.

Wow.

So. Here was a woman who had 1200 people ready and willing to buy her book, and she didn’t even have a final draft. Maybe this whole Twitter thing really was worth looking into.

When we ended our conversation, she gave me her card, invited me to a Writers Conference in March, and said if I had any questions, I should send her an email and she’d be happy to help me out.

Well, lucky for me, I have a 15 year old daughter, so the whole Twitter tutorial was covered. Then I got the flu, had to work a few Sundays, had to clean the house, took the dog for a walk, so the actual going on Twitter and, you know, Tweeting was delayed for a while.

But now I’m here. And you all can follow me a @Dernst1. I’m still trying to figure out how to add the button to my website. That may involve several emails to all sorts of people, because my daughter – surprise – didn’t know how to do that. But be patient – if I don’t throw something at the screen in total frustration, I’ll find a way to do it eventually.

In the meantime, the real challenge is the Tweeting part. I’m following a few people who I admire – Neil Gaiman, Susan Orlean, and the very nice writer lady I met in Barnes and Noble. I actually replied to one of Susan’s (may I call her Susan?) tweets, so I’m sure she’ll jump on the Dee Ernst bandwagon right away. See, that’s the trick – finding people willing to follow me. Let’s face it – I’m not quite famous yet. And then the actual Tweets – I’m limited to 140 letters – God, I have to COUNT and everything? I’m a writer – condensing is not really part of my make-up. And what do I Tweet about?

I probably shouldn’t Tweet about the insanely stupid things that happen at work. If I did, I’d have people hanging on every one of my 140 characters, because you can’t make this stuff up. But B&N has a very strict policy about their employees and Social Media, so that’s out. I could Tweet about my everyday life I guess (Just found a great deal #cancansale) but that how boring would that be? I can make fun of my husband and daughter, but then I’d have less to blog about.

So I’ve settled for wry and biting observations about the world around me (Sorry Obama can’t fix in 4 yrs what it took GWB 8 years to break). Wait. Is that 140 characters? Do spaces count? Is this being monitored by some secret government organization, and is it possible I’ll end up on a ‘List’ somewhere?

Hmmm. Never mind. (Eat at Jimmy Buffs #yummyhotdogs)

Yeah. That’s better.